Wednesday, January 7, 2009

HEAVY HEART TODAY

I have been thinking about my Mother all day and I was over come with grief. Maybe this is the first time since her death it has finally hit me that she is no longer here and never will be again. I still have the memory of her last hours and even though she didn't suffer but two days the memory of her gasping for her last breath and the complications of her illness I had to make decisions on. I want so much to feel her arms around me and welcome her kisses she used to fill my dimples with.

I had a break down today and cried like a baby as I held one of her favorite tops and looked at the picture of her taken Christmas 2007. It was the best picture of her I had seen in years. Even though she was blind from diabetes she looks as if she is looking right at me with the most beautiful smile. I guess I needed to cry and I probably will again. I still have questions I want to ask her or something I want to tell her and then I realize she is not here and it hurts. I think many in my family feel that way. I miss her so much. I just have to remember that she is heaven with our Lord and all his glory and then I am alright.

On a more cheerful note. I finished my 20 cards for the ZNE Calling All ATC Swappers Valentine Swap and they are ready to go out in the mail.

VALENTINE ATC 1 of 20 copies

I did 4 collages for my great nieces for their birthdays next month along with matching note cards and I also entered an altered envelope I did last Valentines day for an Etsy Cottage Style Challenge.

My altered envelope

I plan to give my blog a face lift this week and work on more Comfort Dolls. This raining season can really make you blue if you don't keep busy. I am so grateful for all the warm friendships I have discovered through my blog and Thank God for each one of you.

8 comments:

FOREVER JANN 13THORNYROSES said...

Dear Lord hear my prayer,
for my loved ones in your care.
From here to heaven they did surge,
so here on earth we sing a dirge.
We dance with joy that they are there,
in your kind and loving care.
No place could match the place above.
Filled with your sweet and generous love.
So here i wait in this earthly place,
till i can see my loved ones face to face.

by Jayne

I understand your pain Patti
losing our Mom's is one of the hardest things to deal with.
Love your new art work.
Thanks always for viewing my blogs.

Bev said...

My dear sweet Patti, my heart goes out to you hon as I can only imagine the lose you feel. Just know that I and all your friends are here for you, and we wrap our arms around you today and whenever you need a gentle hug...God know's your pain and is there to give you comfort too!!! Wv you sweetie...

kimberly said...

i could feel so much of what your words said, patti...i lost my mom 8 years ago this march....and i can so vividly remember that it got harder as time went on because i realized she wasn't coming back...i wouldn't get her phone call and wouldn't hear her voice....but then i started dreaming about her, and even though it was disappointing to wake up and realize it was a dream...it was time spent with my mom.......and it meant so much to me.....praying for your comfort...sounds like you had a wonderful mother.
hugs,
kimberly

whymsicalmusings said...

Patti my heart breaks for you. Hold those dear memories of your mother close. She is watching over you until you meet again in Heavan. Sending you a hug and thoughts of friendship and love.
XXX
Becky

Linsart said...

Hi Patti, I know that pain too, and can relate to your feelings so much ! I still cry for my dear Father who was also my best friend. It is probably the most difficult part of life, loosing those we love. But try to remember all of the good times, that is what they would want us to do. Sending a hug to you, Patti.
Your friend,
Lin

Lydia said...

Patti,

I have been where you were. The crying is good. And even though you may not feel her hug, she is giving it in heaven.

xo Lydia

Jann said...

I feel the same way about my dad, Patti--please know that my thoughts and sympathies are with you--if you ever need to talk, email me with your phone number, and I'll send you mine! Love you, Jann

Managing Life and Art.... said...

Hi Patti,
I am so sorry about your Mama. While many have been through the loss of their parent, yet we feel so alone. I pray that God will comfort you as only He can and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Thank God that we have Art to help channel our emotions.
Take good care,
Hugz, Norma Jean Adams